Hello Friends,
* Note: For new readers please refer to
Edition # 3 Editor’s Letter
‘Two Reds Never Make a Right’ before reading the following…
When it comes to Two Reds Never Make a Right – it’s important to understand that for me, it’s not just a belief – it’s a lifestyle choice.
It’s like I’m Kosher - only instead of not eating shrimp, I don’t eat anyone who is shrimp coloured.
Recently I’ve been on the receiving end of some uninvited ginger advances - which got me thinking - was this just a coincidence? I’ve decided, hell no….
When a ginger man is attracted to me - is he really? Or does he just like the comfort that I too have red hair - making him now, not just another ginger - but part of a team.
Lately as I’ve been watching and observing attraction and relationships - I’ve come to the realization that not unlike my ginger suitor, many people just want to date a version of themselves - Birds of a feather flock together and all that!
I used to think there was more to it – yet I’m starting to see that for a lot of people - the whole idea is as simple as – finding yourself in another so they can help you think you’re more acceptable.
If you think about it, why else would it be so important that people like the same things as them.
You like Block Party? - Oh my God, I like Block Party! (Actually I’d be perfect for both of you, so do I.)
You like drinking beer? Oh my God, I like drinking beer!
I mean to me it kind of defeats the purpose of going out with someone, if you have nothing to learn from them other than them making you feel unreal because they agree with your choice in music – and everything else….
Which is why more often than not – idiots end up with idiots. Ken with Barbie and cops with cops.
“Do you take this idiot for as long as both shall live? Do you promise to help them remain an idiot, by not pointing out any areas of growth, obeying all their idiot choices and not challenging them at all?”
“I Do”
“God I love you, you’re just like me and I’m great….aren’t I?”
Yet if we are all as comfortable in our own skins as we make out, then why is it such a big deal to so many to be in the company of someone who rocks the boat – or stimulates their thought processes too much – is it because we worry that we mightn’t like the boat we are in as much as we make out? Is the idea of wanting more - more than most can chew?
Which sounds a little like High School where people totally masked their personalities - in an attempt to fit in and seem cool!
Some say we are two people in life.
Who we were in high school – or who we were trying not to be…..
If you love your music, then why avoid someone who might make you change the record? Is it because the challenge of stretching ourselves makes us feel uncomfortable - our egos can’t take the heat?
No wonder the divorce rate is so high, after years of listening to each other sing the same tune - day in day out - there isn’t any big secret people - it isn’t booming interest rates or extended work loads….- people are just bored sh*tless!
I’m with myself 24 hours a day - I don’t want to come home to bed and hear someone singing the same tune - even if their tune annoys me at times – it always adds food for thought…..
So my brain never goes hungry – nor do I turn into a mad cow after eating my own crap, via another person for too long. You know what they say – don’t believe your own bull or trust anyone who lets you!
If opposites attract - it’s a shame that the connection for many is too scary to conquer - maybe it’s due to the idea that if someone doesn’t validate all your choices - then you’d actually come face to face with yourself.
When I was waiting to get onto my plane at JFK – I sat next to this old man Peter Monroe. Pete, 88, was an American Soldier during World War II, a charming old guy with kind eyes and wrinkly old hands. His wife was Japanese - they met in Hiroshima- not long after the bomb.
They were so diverse - they bickered as they fought over which tales to tell me - but I have never seen two people who seemed so truly in love - or two elderly people who seemed so alive!
Their shared interest – was none but celebrating each others complete individuality – now that is an interest worth keeping…
Email me, Emma-Kate Dobbin
editor@tootstar.com
